Random Quote #97 topic: sex, Uhh. Well, you see, son, there are, umm, birds, and bees... This ranges from outrageously frank to moderately suggestive.

A drunk was sitting at the end of the bar in a popular single's place,
watching a young, good-looking man working his way through the women. The
guy didn't appear to be having much luck, and he was only spending a few
moments with each woman. As he worked his way closer, while he couldn't
hear what the young man was saying, he realized that the women were somewhat
shocked at his approach. Finally, the man approaches a pretty brunette and
they hit it off immediately. After a bit of quiet conversation, she handed
the young man her hotel key and they started off for the elevators. As they
passed the drunk, he stopped the lucky one and asked him what his method was.
"Well," the man replied, "It's simple. You say 'Tickle your ass
with a feather?' If she sounds interested, you take it from there. If she
sounds angry, you smile and say 'Typically nasty weather.'"
The drunk says "Ohhhhh, got it, I got it!" and walks over to a woman
at the end of the bar to try out his new approach. Getting her attention,
he smiles and says "Fuck me!"
"What?!?!?" she screams.
"Raining like hell, isn't it?"


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There is a simple script that displays a random message from a database of quotes (as in well-know fortunes game). This version is bundled with quotations from The Bible, The Talmud, The Koran, poetry, prose, famous people and books, humorous items.

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