Random Quote #79 topic: privates, No, not promoted recruits. The naughty bits, that people aren't supposed to talk about. Body parts and functions. (Note that "size" has nothing to do with sex, so size jokes are all in here).

The new patron was amazed by the cleanliness of the restaurant. A
waiter approached the table. "Good afternoon, sir. What may I serve you?"
"I'll have the steak dinner," the man answered.
As the waiter headed for the kitchen, the diner noticed that he
wore a spotless white apron and clean white gloves. Soon the waiter
returned, bearing a casserole dish on a cart which he uncovered to reveal
two tempting filet mignons. From a covered pocket in his apron he produced
a small pair of shining silver tongs and with them he transferred the meat
from the steaming casserole to the diner's plate. "We never touch anything
with our hands," he explained.
The waiter continued serving. "Confidentially," he said, "we even
have a special set of rules about visiting the lavatory. Do you see this
little piece of string attached to my apron?"
"Yes," the diner replied. "I noticed that all the aprons had one."
The waiter put a large browned potato on the plate with his tongs.
"Well," he began, "if I should have to go to the bathroom, that string
comes in very handily. I simply unzip my pants and take it out with that
piece of string. That way everything stays sanitary."
"But how do you put it back?"
"Well, I don't know about the other guys," the waiter confided, "but
I use the tongs."


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There is a simple script that displays a random message from a database of quotes (as in well-know fortunes game). This version is bundled with quotations from The Bible, The Talmud, The Koran, poetry, prose, famous people and books, humorous items.

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