Random Quote #57 topic: limerick, There once was a file named limerick, / the contents of which were pretty slick. / Each fortune five lines, / with execrable rhymes, / And contents t'offend the fanatick.

We sailed on the good ship Venus,
My God, you should have seen us
With a figurehead
Of a whore in bed
And the mast an upright penis

The captain of the lugger
Was known as a filthy bugger
Declared unfit
To shovel shit
From one ship to another

The first mate's name was Cooper,
By god he was a trooper
He jerked and jerked
Until he worked
Himself into a stupor

The cabin boy was chipper,
A dandy little nipper
He shoved cracked glass
Inside his ass
And circumcised the skipper

The captain's wife was Charlotte,
Born and bred a harlot
Her thighs at night
Were lily white
By morning they were scarlet

The captain's youngest daughter
Slipped into the water
Her plaintive squeals
Announced that eels
Had found her sexual quarter

The ship's dog's name was Rover,
They turned the poor beast over
And ground and ground
That faithful hound
From Tenerief to Dover


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There is a simple script that displays a random message from a database of quotes (as in well-know fortunes game). This version is bundled with quotations from The Bible, The Talmud, The Koran, poetry, prose, famous people and books, humorous items.

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