Random Quote #99 topic: ANY

-=: A story from the movie _Naked Lunch_ :=-

Did I ever tell you the one about the man who taught his asshole to talk?
His whole abdomen would move up and down, ya dig; farting out the words.
It was unlike anything I had ever heard; bubbly, thick, stagnant sound.
A sound you could smell. This man worked for the carnival, in a gig that to
start with was like a novelty ventriliquist act. After awhile the ass
started talking on it's own and he would go in with out anything prepared, and
his ass would adlib and toss the gags back at him every time. Then it developed
sort of teeth-like little raspy in-curving hooks and started eating. He thought
this was cute at first, and built an act around it, but the asshole would eat
it's way through his pants, and start talking on the street; shouting out
it wanted equal rights. It would get drunk too and have crying jags; nobody
loved it and it wanted to be kissed same as any other mouth. Finally, it
talked out all the time, day and night. You could hear him for blocks;
screaming at it to sut up, beating it with his fists, and sticking candles
up it. Nothing did any good, and the asshole said to him, "It is you who will
shut up in the end, not me 'cause


Select Next Random Quote Topic:
  apocrypha bible-old bible-new confucius hebraic koran lao-tse nietzsche wittgenstein english-esperanto handy-poetical vulgar-tongue voltaire-dict foolish-dict zola-dictionary rubai-khayyam art ascii-art astrology atheism bierce-devil black-humor bofh-excuses buffy calvin chalkboard computers cookie debian definitions disclaimer drugs education ethnic evilplan fgump food fortunes friends futurama goedel haywards-definitions hitchhiker hphobia humorists humorix-misc humorix-stories joel-on-software kernelcookies kernelnewbies kids knghtbrd law lehenbauer limerick linux linuxcookie literature love magic medicine men-women misandry miscellaneous misogyny news osfortune osho paradoxum people perl pets platitudes politics privates prog-style quotes-20010929 racism religion riddles rj science sex shlomif smac songs-poems sports startrek starwars subversion tao translate-me vulgarity wisdom work xfiles xian-koans zippy ads-1 answers-1 bulletins-1 complaints-1 cruise-1 danquayle-1 employees-1 eugeneormandy-1 excuses-1 famous-1 forest-1 fortunes-1 insurance-1 kidlove-1 kidquotes-1 kidscience-1 language-1 libraries-1 murraywalker-1 news-1 patients-1 predictions-1 ranger-1 restaurants-1 resume-1 river-1 samuelgoldwyn-1 spoonerisms-1 tourism-1 warnings-1 words-1 yogiberra-1 bushism bushjoke reagan obama junauza liz-taylor

There is a simple script that displays a random message from a database of quotes (as in well-know fortunes game). This version is bundled with quotations from The Bible, The Talmud, The Koran, poetry, prose, famous people and books, humorous items.

generated in 0.016763 seconds