Liberace was at heaven's gate when Saint Peter told him that he'd been
disqualified from entering.
Stunned, Liberace asked, "Why?"
"Our records show that you once ate a parakeet," Saint Peter answered.
"I never did that," Liberace replied. "Can't you check your records?
They *must* be wrong!"
"It says right here that on August 15, 1981, you ate a chartreuse
parakeet with black trim."
"Hey, listen, you must be thinking of Ozzy Osbourne, " Liberace
replied. "Now, I might have had a cockatoo..."